Angel
by ginevrahermione
Summary: He loved her, he lost her; but he never let go. The story of the man who watched the prophecy come true - after all, the last enemy that shall be destroyed is death.
1. Forever, My Angel

The graveyard was perfectly still - not a breath of wind displacing the perfect pattern of the leaves on the trees. The cool midnight air condensed on the warm church windows; steamy smoke from the altar candles rose to the tarnished oak beams. Inside the church, a young child yawned, bored with the proceedings; lulled by the droning of the vicar. He turned his head slightly, watching the candle smoke. Out of the window, something caught his eye. A hooded figure, tall, majestic, and slightly hunched, was weaving its way around the gravestones, before finally coming to rest beside a tall white stone. The figure stood there for a while, apparently motionless, before turning on its heel and disappearing with a soft 'pop'. The child watched this, dreaming absent-mindedly about how silly his Grandma looked in that hat, before turning back to the vicar. He had no idea how close he had come to being the victim of a dreadful curse; the dreadful curse that had shattered the people who rested underneath that gravestone. No idea at all.

* * *

Severus Snape listened to the joyful singing that came from the church. Without realising that he had begun to move, he found himself standing opposite the one grave he had feared, dreaded and desperately wanted to see. The grave of his sweetheart; the grave of his worst enemy. He glanced at the inscription:

_**James Potter, born 27 March 1960, died 31 October 1981**_

_**Lily Potter, born 30 January 1960, died 31 October 1981**_

_**The last enemy that shall be destroyed is death.**_

_Lily Potter. _Reading this name, Severus' steely black eyes softened, if only for a moment. He loved her as the moon loves the sun. But, alas, she had never loved him. Liked him once, maybe, until he made the fatal mistake, the one that changed the course of his life forever. Kind, sweet, beautiful Lily. If he tried hard enough, he could still hear the echo of her laugh. After the discovery of the prophecy, she had thrown every ounce of her energy into her life with James and Harry. She'd always been so full of life... so determined to live for the moment...

_She lived like she knew nothing lasts  
Didn't care to look like anyone else  
And she was beautiful, so beautiful  
I still hear her laugh like she's here_

Glancing up slightly for the slightest second, Severus saw a young boy watching him from the church window, laughing as he blew the candle out. Severus grimaced. He had never known the joys of being young. Sometimes he doubted whether he had ever had fun as a child. He had never laughed as the Marauders had laughed. He had never pulled pranks as the Marauders had pulled pranks. Mind, he thought, that is because you were always the victim.

_Shower it down on all the young  
It isn't so wrong to have such fun_

A second glance at the headstone forced him to decipher the first name. James Potter. That boy had made life hell for him. Marrying Lily, he had knowingly broken Severus' heart. He did not deserve the angel that now lay beside him._  
_

_Forever angel  
I hope they love you like we do  
Forever angel  
I'll be proud to be like you  
Be like you  
(I'll be proud to be like you)_

After six years of despising him, Lily had finally accepted James. To Snape, it did not signify that it had taken her six years to like James. It just mattered that she had accepted him. With that one word, 'Yes!', she had broken a heart, injured a soul, and ruined every possibility of innocence for Snape. He gazed with loathing at the headstone, suddenly feeling repelled by the sight of them being together. He wondered if she was proud of her son, prophesised at the age of one to defeat the Dark Lord. Was she disgusted by his presence? He would never know. He did not want to.  
_  
_

_Does the sun shine up at you when you are looking down?  
Do you get along with the others around?_

It has to be better for her, Severus thought, sending a silent plea to the milky white stars that shone in the inky sky above him. It has to be better in heaven than it is down here. Maybe this death was for the best. The more he reasoned with himself though, the hollower the reason sounded in his head.

_It's got to be better than before  
You don't need to worry now you're gone_

His angel, his love, his Lily. Without her, he did not know love. Without her, he did not know peace. Without her, life had lost all meaning. He kicked himself under the long travelling cloak that was wound around his body._ You lost her, he thought. It was all your fault that she died. If you had told her how you really felt, she would not have gone with that bullying toerag, Potter. She would have been your angel._ Shaking his head, Snape banished these thoughts.

_Forever angel  
I hope they love you like we do  
Forever angel  
I'll be proud to be like you  
Be like you  
Just like you_

A memory sprung into Snape's head, making his face form a cold sneer. It was a memory of Hogwarts. Some might call it his worst memory...

*Flashback*

_'All right, Snivellus?' said James loudly._

_Snape plunged his hands into his robes for his wand, but not soon enough..._

_'Expelliarmus!'_

_Snape's wand flew from his hand, landing around twelve feet away. He made a run for it, a second too late once more._

_'Impedimenta!'_

_He found himself hanging upside down, and then dumped roughly on the ground, surrounded by laughing students. How excruciatingly embarrassing. He struggled, but his body would not move, as if invisible ropes bound him. He could only watch as the Marauders taunted him, teased him mercilessly. Until Lily came..._

_'Leave him alone!'_

_Severus heard her voice, felt himself become free from the cords that bound him, and spoke the words that would guarantee him unhappiness for the rest of his days. They just slipped out - _

_'I don't need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her!'_

_He saw the hurt in Lily's eyes turn to anger, he watched her storm away..._

_He felt his heart break..._

*End of Flashback*

_And when I go to sleep at night  
I'll thank you for each blessed thing surrounding me  
For every fall I'll ever break  
Each moment`s breath I want to taste  
Confidence and conscience  
Decadent extravagance_

He remembered how he had watched Lily reign providence over Potter, how he had heard himself give Potter one chance to Lily's heart. The memory swam before his eyes, clouding his senses. However, it could not cloud one sense. Severus Snape still knew that he still loved Lily Evans.

_Never ending providence  
For loving when I had the chance_

Finally, Snape admitted to himself one thought that he had been trying to banish for years. He looked at Lily's name and smiled. His eyes softened once more. I'd be proud to be like you, he thought. I'd be proud to be like you. And from that moment, Snape knew that he would do anything to help her living son; Harry Potter. He would risk his life. And with that final gesture, Severus Snape turned on his heel and was gone.

_Forever angel  
I hope they love you like we do  
Forever angel  
I'll be proud to be like you  
Forever angel  
I'll be proud to be like you  
Forever angel  
I'll be proud to be like you_

* * *

Back inside the church, the child called Neville Longbottom slipped off his pew and turned to leave with his Grandmother. One day, the man in the hooded cloak would become his worst fear. One day, that ugly hat of his Grandmother's might help to banish that fear. But for now, Neville Longbottom knew only one thing. With his child's intuition, he knew that something significant had happened in the graveyard of Godric's Hollow that night. And he was right. Severus Snape had finally let go. The leaves rustled in the no longer silent churchyard. The footsteps of the congregation echoed heartlessly on the paved path; footsteps belonging to people who, unlike Neville, were completely oblivious of the promise newly made by an honest man. An innocent man.

As Severus Snape slept that night, a quiet voice disturbed his dreams. It's tone swept melodically around the room, sweet syllables sounded in the wizards ear. Look after Harry, it said. It will all be worth it in the end, Sev. After all, the last enemy that shall be destroyed is death.


	2. Tears in Heaven

Chapter 2: Tears in Heaven

In a place far from her home, a woman stood motionless, her beautiful emerald eyes fixed rigidly on a distant scene, yet unfocused and dull. A solitary tear slid silently down her delicate porcelain skin, unnoticed and insignificant. Strands of copper had escaped her gently falling ringlets, only to be caught by the steady stream of tears descending swiftly now towards the ground. Lily stirred; her shoulders jolted, protesting angrily at the slight movement. Her long pale fingers brushed her cheek briskly, wiping away any trace of sadness. She knew that there was nothing more that she could do, but the knowledge did nothing to numb the pain. She did not belong here.

_Would you know my name  
If I saw you in heaven  
Will it be the same  
If I saw you in heaven  
I must be strong, and carry on  
Cause I know I don't belong  
Here in heaven  
_

Lily ignored the rustling sound that the linen folds of her long white dress made. Material worth had no value where she was. Her mind, once a tangled web of truths, lies and ideals, was now organised and focused; only the important memories remained. The memories that lingered were not all happy - far from it. Those few that did not hold simple images of her son held regrets; unfulfilled promises and misunderstandings that she now wished so hard to be able to fix.

Blinking as her eyes slid into focus for the first time in death, Lily surveyed the scene that fate had chosen for her to view - her last glimpse of earth as she had known it, and would ever know it. She watched the lonely actions of someone who she had not spoken to for a very long time - someone she had never wanted to see again. She wondered, would he know her name, if he saw her in heaven? Now, beyond the reach of his waiting ears, his name slipped off her tongue like silk, a desperate plea. _Severus, please_...

_Would you hold my hand  
If I saw you in heaven  
Would you help me stand  
If I saw you in heaven  
I'll find my way, through night and day  
Cause I know I just can't stay  
Here in heaven  
_

Her heart throbbed painfully in her chest, constricting her breathing as she lunged forward, frantically grasping for life, feeling it slipping away from her fingers as it had so gracefully only a few hours before. Eventually, after several minutes of pointless fighting with the clouds, Lily gave in, surrendering to the knowledge that she would never see her son again, never see the sparkle in his eyes, never hear his first word.

Yet it was not these thoughts that hurt the most. What hurt the most was being so close to her best friend, so close to mending the relationship they both had ruined, the start of many years of regret; yet so far away. The tears fell faster. He had been her rock, her saviour, her _friend_...

_Time can bring you down  
Time can bend your knee  
Time can break your heart  
Have you begging please  
Begging please _

*Flashback*

_Lily swung backwards and forwards, enjoying the few moments of peace that the weekly trips to the local swings afforded her. It was quality time to spend with her sister, the one person she loved more than the earth. Lately though, her sister did not seem to enjoy the trips. Lily had had to beg her to come this time. Realising that her expression had dulled, she forced the smile back on her face, and with a great shout of laughter, she flew, quite literally, off the swing and onto the course dry land below. Her sister's shriek of 'Lily, don't do it!' failed to register - she just wanted to impress her, to show Tuney it was worth spending time with her after all._

_Lily picked up a flower, willing it to magically open and close in her slender fingertips. She did not notice that her actions were being witnessed. Her sister's scream bringing her firmly back down to earth, Lily finally saw the scrawny young boy that had been watching her from behind a bush on the far side of the park. His limp, greasy hair was far too long, she decided, and his clothes didn't fit him. _

_Even his gaze was somewhat unsettling. Ignoring him, she turned her attention back to her sister. There was a definite longing in Petunia's voice as she questioned Lily:_

_"How do you do it?"_

_Lily did not have chance to answer; the watching boy had evidently decided to come out at last. _

_"It's obvious, isn't it?"_

_Lily looked scornfully at the boy, her brow furrowing with frustration and unease. _

_"What's obvious?"_

_The answer to her query changed her life._

_"You're...you're a witch"._

_She had not believed him, at first. She had listened warily as her sister had launched into an in depth description of the boy. Snape ... Lily replayed the name several times in her head - it had a nice ring to it, she decided, an air of mystery. A friendship was born._

*End of Flashback*

From that day onwards, Lily's relationship with her sister began to fail. She clung to Severus like a lifeline over the next few years, knowing even when he called her _that_ word that it was merely a slip of the tongue. At least, that was what she wanted to believe.

_Beyond the door  
There's peace I'm sure.  
And I know there'll be no more...  
Tears in heaven _

Presently, Lily pulled out of the memory, savouring the peace that radiated from the swirling wisps of ivory cloud encompassing her. She narrowed her bright eyes once more, blanking out the blinding sunlight, and tried to make out the graveyard below. After a moment, she recognised it to be the church at Godric's Hollow. Severus was now sitting by a headstone of white marble; one that Lily was sure had not been there before. He was talking to it, Lily thought, mouthing the words newly inscribed on its surface.

**James Potter, born 27 March 1960, died 31 October 1981 ****  
****Lily Potter, born 30 January 1960, died 31 October 1981 ****  
****The last enemy that shall be destroyed is death.**

With a surge of realisation, all became suddenly clear. The mystery solved, Lily stared unbelievingly at the stone. Her heart beat wildly in her chest - strange, she thought, considering it no longer had a purpose - and her breath came in short gasps, each one a release of emotion. She found that she could not speak, it _couldn't_ be hers...

_No. No, no, no._ It _couldn't_ be. Not James as well. Who would look after Harry? Lily let out a breath she had not realised she had been holding. _Of course_. _Sirius_. And failing that...

_Would you know my name  
If I saw you in heaven  
Will it be the same  
If I saw you in heaven  
I must be strong, and carry on  
Cause I know I don't belong  
Here in heaven  
_

_Severus_. Knowing and accepting that she could not tell him head to head, Lily Potter made the decision to let it be. Moreover, if she could not tell Severus the normal way... she may have lost her voice but she and her Severus still shared one thing, one simple method of communication - their dreams.

As Severus Snape slept that night, a voice disturbed his dreams. Its tone swept melodically around the room, sweet syllables sounding in his waiting ears. _Look after Harry_, Lily whispered. _It will all be worth it in the end, Sev. After all, the last enemy that shall be destroyed is death._

___She loved him, she lost him, and she never let go. Until now. _

As the clouds began to tinge scarlet with the dying sun, the woman turned and began to walk away from her friend, her copper curls shining beautifully in the twilight. With one last, sad glance at the white marble headstone, she disappeared into the wondrous glare of the heavens, to be with her husband once more. And there she would wait forevermore, for _her_ Severus.

_Cause I know I don't belong  
Here in heaven_

_

* * *

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**Thank you, review?!**


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